Tuesday, December 15, 2009

From Antlers to Maid

So I had an amazing last week and I’ve been told its time to update :). Last Tuesday I went to work and was subjected to the irritation of wearing reindeer antlers with shiny little bells that jingled when I worked. I disliked them with a passion but they were great icebreakers. I had people wanting their own pair, women who pitied me and men who thought 6 points were a good shot. They recommended that I not go outside since it IS still deer season.
I went back to work on Wednesday and quit my job with all the grace of an elephant. I did try tact but I guess Mr. G never had someone try that when quitting and he didn’t know what I was talking about. No, I did NOT quit do to the reindeer antlers, I’d been thinking and praying about it and I didn’t want to quit in a way, because I knew I’d been called to the restaurant and its easier to feel called to a place then called away from one.
I turned in my antlers and my aprons and went into the big world quite jobless. Then I realized again how God takes care of us ‘cause only in God’s will could I quit a job and two days later find another one- in spite of a struggling economy.
I will now share with you Willie Mae-experiences vs. the restaurant-experiences.
Willie Mae is amazing; she’s 92 and she still takes care of herself pretty much. That’s where I come in, at the “pretty much”. Today we were working on cleaning out closets of clothing and I didn’t know it was possible that anyone have as many clothes as me. We talked and I heard stories and memories and much of it was funny. Much of it was not.
She married when she was 16 yrs old to escape home and this marriage wasn’t any better then what she left behind. I wonder if it felt like forever alone, because he didn’t take care of her. I can’t imagine living with someone for 50 some years and still feeling alone. Then she married again and I asked if it was better that time around. Willie Mae smiled and said “He died too soon”. I hope that’s what people say of me.
Talking to her I can see and understand what happens when you build a life around hardship, around work, and forget why we’re here. Living for myself will leave me alone and I don’t mean just physically, I mean, deep in my soul, ALONE. It’s the beginning of a separation from God. Alone. So I have this opportunity just like my last jobs, and I don’t wanna waste it because, everything we do, anything we are called to, is a once in a life time experience.
In other news, my amazing boyfriend walked through the door last Friday afternoon and I was speechless, but only for 2 seconds. :) He traveled a total of 19 hrs to spend about 11 hrs with me. :) Totally made my week which is amazing in itself because it was a very good week.
Now I must go and prepare for the formal tea party my sister and I are hosting tonight. It's gonna be great fun but there is much to do, none of which is done yet so I’m off.
Let’s remember to celebrate the birth of Salvation this week! Sonya

Friday, December 4, 2009

Better then Blue

I started a post yesterday and now I’m not in that post any more, so I’ll write a new one for today. I had a good morning. I ate waffles and drank coffee with friends and talked about relationships because we’re girls and that’s better then talking about purses.
It’s a gray day. Its gray outside and I’m feeling a little gray inside too, which is a little like feeling blue but better somehow because gray days are good and blue days aren’t. Some people would probably say contemplative instead of gray. I’m listening to Dean Martin, Daughtry, Martina, and 50’s big band music and they don’t really have much in common but they’re all good and they kinda fit my mood.
On a day like this I wake up and wonder why I was able to wake up and be alive and others’ time to appreciate life here is ending. Then I wonder if maybe I shouldn’t wonder why I haven’t been thrust into a moment where I appreciate life here but even more, wish for Heaven.
I’ve also been thinking about what makes me who I am. Sometimes I see people at Wal-Mart and then I see them eating in a restaurant and it changes how I view that person. Before they were just a cashier at Wal-Mart, now they’re a person who needs to eat. Stellar observation right? When I work, I’m “The waitress” or “The Girl Who’s Bringing the Food” or my favorite, “The Drink Lady”. I’m defined by what I do and how I meet a need. I like so much better to be known as Sonya, because that encompasses all I am not just part of me. It’s so easy to forget people are all the same because we see them for the roll they play in our lives. So what happens when the Father can’t feed his children, when the mother gets Alzheimer’s, and the perfect child gets sent to the principle’s office?
We get the opportunity to love the way Christ did- not for what they do, not what they give or who they are, but simply because they’re people who are worth the life of the God Who created them. Isn’t that how we all want to be appreciated though?

Today is a gray day but it’s still a gift and I think I’m going to use this gift to clean and to write a letter and go sing at play practice. And maybe I’ll have the opportunity to love someone as they are- maybe you will too.
~Moi

Monday, November 30, 2009

Why not to be a Cow

Today I’m tired. Yesterday I took a nap, drank coffee, ate lots of really, sweet chocolate cake, and laughed hysterically over one of my friends’ dads. He says very funny things and who doesn’t like someone who increases your heart health? So I didn’t sleep good and had strange dreams and I’m glad to be awake now, but I’m tired.
I had a good Thanksgiving. I was with my family and ate a really good, if somewhat unbalanced, meal. Then because it’s a holiday weekend, we sat around and talked for three days and by yesterday, we’d bonded like most people do after a LONG car ride. Equivalent would be going from Colorado to Ohio, in a van, without stopping (that’s a 22 hr drive). It was a good weekend and I’m so blessed.
I think I’m going to go snowboarding this year. I’ve decided that if I hurt myself again, may as well do it this year while I have the health care that I do and before this new “equalizer and excuser of all evil” bill becomes mandatory. Besides, I love boarding, its great fun.
The last little while I’ve been thinking about waiting and how we wait for everything. We wait till we’re big enough to go to school, then till we’re big enough to graduate. We wait to get a job, and then we want to quite our job and find another job. Then there’s waiting for a guy to call, waiting to get married, waiting to have children, and then waiting till they hurry up and leave again,. And finally, we discover that we really want to enjoy life but we hit a banana peel and everyone has to wait in a line at the viewing. I know, morbid. You know the saying “good things come to those who wait?” I know why they’re “good things”, and yes I’ll even tell you. It’s because we’re all cows and the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. NOT- but almost. :) Everything we have to wait for is good because we have to wait. Who appreciates anything that is handed to them every time they snap their fingers. No, I think we place value in the wait. At least, I do. So I want to enjoy the journey, that way, I can appreciate the view at the top of the mountain. Have a super week! Sonya

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Happiness meets Prose

It’s a cold, gray, and winterish day and I’m listening to T.S.O.
So far, I’ve drank several cups of coffee (the freshly ground stuff) , wrote in my journal, wrote a letter, and read books- one that was good and one that was pointless and not even funny or random in its pointlessness. It belongs to the “read when I can’t sleep” genre. But it’s a good day because it’s a day coming after a great weekend. :)
My weekend consisted of my boyfriend, Adrian, visiting and us going on our first date. First dates are interesting and funny and sometimes have potential for embarrassment. For instance, we had a lovely dinner and then we went to leave and I headed for the first available exit. Unfortunately, I don’t think it led outside but rather to the kitchen- I was stopped before I found out for sure. Laughs. Another really cool thing about dating would be how doors magically opened for me all weekend. But that’s just a small benefit I think, there are far greater ones.
I found it incredibly amusing how interested people become in your life once you’re dating. I wonder why that is? Maybe it’s because dating and marriage are the kinds of relationships many people view as the epitome of “relationship”. It’s the closest to a “perfect relationship” we will find on earth with another human and perfect relationships are what we all really desire. Or maybe we’re simply in love with the idea of being in love.
Whatever the case, we had many spectators; Women who wanted details, men who decided I need more then one father figure and children who just like to point and giggle.
Then he left and I had to go to work. :( At work, I had customer-friends who are interested in my love life and are now demanding wedding invitations. Beyond that, it was very prosaic. I served food. I cleaned tables. I listened to the redneck dishwasher talk about how he’s improving his circumstances by remodeling his trailer. Laughs. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate initiative, it’s just ironic sometimes. :)
Today I must go back to my prosaic work place but its ok, its life and it’s a good day to be alive.
~ Sonya ~

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Just another update on my life

It’s been so long I’m not sure where to start. And if I start I’m not sure if I’ll be able to stop. ;) Last weekend I had a rather nasty time at work. The little things- you know? It’s the little things that get me, the gossip, the negativity, Colorado has forever branded into my brain the kind of atmosphere you should have in your work place. I wanted to quit but I’d hate to quit because of negative vibes, I’d rather change it. So I’m gonna keep trying.
Something happened this last week that might help- if a happy bubble is what is required of me at work anyway. This great guy called me up, and remember what I said earlier about the big blue and planet earth? I’m in the clouds rotating planet earth now too. Figuratively. J I got flowers and decided that this would be an excellent time to preach to all you single guys ‘bout sending flowers to your girlfriend (should you be fortunate enough to get one). Its not something that is gonna make or break your relationship (we hope) BUT it will make her irrationally happy. You can practice on your mom or something. *laughs*.
So today my bubble deflated a bit because I made a mountain into a mole hill and turns out it really was a mountain. A large group of people, me included, hiked table rock this afternoon. I remembered that I had said very distinctly last time I hiked it that I was “NEVER doing this again”. Today I remembered why. I thought perhaps my over-active 16 yr old mind had exaggerated the pain but obviously not. I am now a bonafide tree-hugger; I hugged every tree along the trail going up the mountain. Coming down was by far easier and I felt just like Maria on The Sound of Music, except I had no children and no Nazis and I wasn’t really singing-more like moaning. We did have the mountain in common though. Now I am tired but it’s an accomplished tired. I didn’t die! J
As I paused to hug the trees today, I thought wow, we have such an Awesome God. I wasn’t capable of much more then that at the time but, I’m so excited right now bout our Awesome God. The message at church today was on living with humility, which is followed by integrity and a courageous life. It reminded me of my courageous bursts. You know, the random things you do that really matter to God and maybe someone else. Not the random things you do for yourself. It reminded me how I don’t want bursts that last a week but one that lasts a life time. There’s nothing more “lifelike” then living, breathing, doing, in God’s will. I’m listening to that song by Tenth Avenue North right now, “Hold My Heart” and I love the words. They talk about being alive.
Anyway, till I feel led or someone asks for a post or something interesting happens, till then, have a great life! Sonya

Friday, November 6, 2009

I work with a Talking Tea Urn

I am tired of people and tea urns and pancakes and hypocrisy, all with excellent reason.
I worked all morning and afternoon at a restaurant that has wretched tea urns which hate me and spit their nozzles out and spray innocent waitresses with tea. It happened several times and it made me very irate because not only is it irritating, I was the one who put the nozzles on the tea urns. Furthermore, I screwed them on so tightly that only a person as strong as myself could get them off again. Ya... And then there were lots of people who wanted to raise their cholesterol today so I was busy helping them.
Tonight my youth group did a super fund raiser at which we gave away super pancakes and people gave us super donations in return. I love pancakes but I have noticed of late that my stomach can't handle sugar and overly processed foods like it used too. Its sad really. But it was a fun thing and I do love pancakes especially with chocolate chips and dutch honey and whip cream. Ya...
Lately I have had an incredibly hard time with a person in my life. A person of authority at work. This person loves to tell me in great lengths how to do simple things. It has become an enormous pet peave because I feel like I have the brain of something that doesn't. This person will with-out fail, turn around and do the very thing just lectured about with an ," Oh I shouldn't do this but just as long as we all know how it really should be done!!" It makes me want to say that I am an intelligent, amazing, person with my own clientele at the restaurant and everyone loves me and I DO have a brain- all in French and then Spanish and then maybe Italian, when I learn it. :)I left in a stew (mental) and went to the pancake supper.
Later tonight I sat and had an in depth conversation with a friend on how awesome and loving our God is and how when He tells me to do things, I want to do them. Ironically, His greatest commandment is to love Him with everything in us, and then love the people around us. So through simply deduction, God wants me to love the unlovable and I just said that I want to love them! Theoretically. Personally, I think God in His Heaven said, " Some people are born humble, some people attain humility, Sonya must have humility thrust upon her." I have decided to learn this lesson as quickly as possible.You can pray for me. :)
Moving on, tomorrow I'm planning on going shopping with my sister for my brother's birthday. He's getting so old. And I'm still freaking out over how tall he is and how short I am. Comparatively. I told him I was gonna get him a tie cause I love ties- mainly cause I know how to tie them. :) Another great thrift store lesson. He didn't want a tie so I'm going to get him something else that we would both like. :) I like buying fun things. I hate buying socks. Derek will not get socks from me for his birthday.
Now I have a question for you,(yes if you're reading this, I mean YOU) if you had to choose, would you rather watch your home and possessions burn to the ground OR give them all away?
Eat, drink, exercise and have a happy wk-end. Sonya

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Mountains and Marriage

So yesterday just destroyed my theory about double shifts seeming shorter then single shifts. It was one of those days where I got in my car and listened to Hawk Nelson on the way home ‘cause they fit into my “stress relieving music” category.
It was one of those days where if someone gave me a board and a snow covered mountain, I would have immediately gone to the top and crashed and burned my way to the bottom and felt better for it.
But as I listened to my music and wished for a mountain, I thought about my evening in its short-staffed chaos, and I came to a conclusion. I should never try to live life totally on my own. It doesn’t work well in waitressing because you can’t do it on your own and it doesn’t work well in life because we have to have people. So I learned something, although I think I’ve learned this before.
I do have fun with the people who come in and there was one couple yesterday morning who totally made my day.
We got started talking and they asked if I was in college to which I glibly said “No, I don’t believe college is necessary unless you want to be a doctor or a lawyer”.
They stared at me, then, “Exactly what DO you want to do?”
Sonya, “I want to get married”! *cheesy grin*.
They thought this was an excellent idea and whole heartedly encouraged me although the woman warned me to be very careful because sometimes she still wonders about the one she got. I was thinkin’ maybe he should be sayin’ this cause it was her who pitched the fit when his piece of cake was bigger then hers, and then he just laughed when I switched them. Anyway, they assumed since I wanted to get married I probably had a boyfriend. I flatly told them no, he’s still out in the big blue somewhere searching for planet earth, obviously. This wasn’t dampening in any respect because they know God will take care of it and it could be any day. I agreed but thought it might be taking longer cause he was gonna have to be special.
This got a dark look and a, “ Honey, we all got one who’s special”. I laughed and said, “ True, but you see, I have a unique personality and people with unique personalities require extra special people to live with them”.
I didn’t tell them why I’m extra unique. After all, someone who would like to have several sets of twins, maybe live in a tent long enough that I would grow to appreciate indoor plumbing again and then write a book on such experiences, and who researches why old women have such skinny legs, IS scary unique. So I told them relatively normal things, and now they want to come to my wedding which they think may happen today yet.
I love talking to people like that, they can leave me a dollar if they want, a good talk is better then tip. Although, when in doubt, try both. :)
Today is wonderful. There are no people wanting food or assuming I have a boyfriend or leaving little messes of splenda for me to clean up. Today I think I’ll wash my filthy beast and iron clothing and eat icecream for lunch and maybe look into a visit to the mountains here soon. Sonya

Sunday, November 1, 2009

On thought process and Sunday afternoons

I love the fall time change- thank you Benjamen!! I went to church this morning and was wide awake cause of the extra hour and now I feel very adverse to taking a nap. Not that I don't love naps, I do, especially on rainy days.When I was a child I hated naps and came up with fun ways to pass the time without sleeping. Sometimes I re-knotted the quilt under which I was supposed to be sleeping. Later I advanced to creating a children's radio program complete with story hour and singing. Now I either go to sleep or think about libraries or weddings. I love libraries and weddings. Which leads me to what I was thinking about earlier today-my new literary attempt. I want to write an essay or something on Anabaptist history and its relevance today.I thought maybe if I said this in an online journal vs a private one I'd actually get it done. I've been in this amazingly good class on Anabaptists at church. There's so much to remember, the facts, the actual people, the movements,and so I just don't, simply cause I'm not the one studying or documenting. Its disturbing to forget things I should remember. Its also disturbing when I almost remember but not quite and something comes out slightly wrong. My sister has taken to yelling "misfire" whenever this happens. This is what happens when I try explaining chemical imbalances in the brain-something I know nothing about. :)~ No really. I've also decided to learn Italian. I watched a very inspirational movie the other night, "Return to Me", and they speak Italian or at least English with an accent.Besides, if I can learn and forget Spanish and French I'm sure I can do the same for another language. But today is beautiful and the sun is shining and since I can't sleep to the sound of rain, I'm going to go dance in sunbeams and leaves~Sonya

Friday, October 30, 2009

Rhapsody out of the Blue

I never cease to be amazed by people who can eat large breakfasts early in the morning and then charge off to work with all the energy of an ostrich on steroids. I generally debate for the next hr the virtues of either going back to bed or exercising off all the calories I just consumed.
I had breakfast, early this morning, with one of my good friends hence the theorizing on large breakfasts. It was worth it I think. We went to this really cool southern cafĂ©/quick stop /beer joint and I’ve added it to my “must see southern places” along with the local speedway and flee market.
I’m pretty skippy bout my day ‘cause I have off and therefore have an entire day to myself. It’s supposed to rain and so I thought bout soaping down my car and parking it outside. Maybe I’ll sit inside and turn the windshield wipers on and watch the bubbles form and then disappear. Or maybe I’ll eat chocolate bars and write in my journal. I love days with this many hours and no pressing things to fill them.
I worked a double shift yesterday and there’s something about going into a long day and knowing its going to be long vs. going into a normal shift thinking it will be over in a few hrs. The long goes faster then the short, strangely enough. I have a new theory due to something that happened at work yesterday. I could have a new theory every day to things that happen at work but I like this one. J It was 3 minutes until closing when a family walked in the door. I happen to like this family ‘cause I’ve waited on them before and they came to our church auction and for some reason, this made me like them. The kitchen staff didn’t like them and waved their spatulas at me when I told them they had an order.. The family ate and left and they tipped me as all good people do. But they left me more then last time.
MY THEORY: When people come to the restaurant and cause an excess of inconvenience they do one of several things.
1. Tip normally and pretend nothing unusual occured.
2. Tip less and discourage any sense of obligation “Its not my fault my child makes huge messes. He’s just a baby”.
3. Tip more. For these people I always hope that its not out of guilt but a sense of appreciation.
Makes me wonder what I ignore, what I excuse, and what sort of strange subconscious things I do in penance,
I hate halloween with a purple passion. And we will never accomplish world peace. On my way home today, I drove past at least two churches and both had “trunk or treat” signs. In fact, nearly every church I have driven past of late has such a sign and I find it repulsive. Does the church have to have a feel-good alternative to EVERYTHING? Peace is only found in Christ and his church- his church is offering a happy halloween alternative. As I said, world peace is not something we can accomplish and can only be a work of God.
What do we ignore, excuse, or do in penance? Appreciate life today.
Moi