Sunday Musings

Sunday. I love this day. Right now I’m spending it with a computer and coffee and Michael Buble. It gets better though, Adrian is on his way down and then I’ll turn off my computer and Michael and drain the last drops of coffee from my cup.
I turned 21 this last week and on the eve of every birthday, I write in my journal the thoughts and feelings I have on turning older. I write about how I feel concerning my next year and ponder what I did with my previous one. I did not go out and get trashed on my birthday, if anyone wonders. I had coldstone which is the best icecream ever made and I can’t imagine that drinking something comparative to Nyquil could ever be fun and celebratory.
A year ago on Super Bowl Sunday I learned about football and fried food. We had fried wings, fried cheese sticks, fried potatoes, maybe even a fried oreo. I remember what I wore and who won and how we didn’t stay for the game’s ending. It was also my 20th birthday and I didn’t feel or act mature. :)
Sunday school, Hebrews 11, Sinner or Saint? I’ve been thinking bout this ever since I got home from church today and I hate thinking of myself as a Saint. Oh the Responsibility. If we’re forgiven, we’re not sinners, yes we mess up, but we’re a new person in Christ. Therefore I can’t write off every stupid thing I want to do as a fallen nature. It’s funny because there are so many things I’ve wanted to do that aren’t sin, but when I hear that little voice saying, “Uhuh, that’s not my Kingdom” it becomes sin. I can’t say I really like hearing that little voice because for one thing, it speaks a lot, for another, people give me these “looks” when I talk about it too much.
I kinda wonder if everything comes back to what we want out of life. Philippians talks about the prize of the High Calling of Christ. It’s a gift and I have this inclination, more oft then not, to view it as an albatross.
I worked this week and Willie Mae has certain stories she likes to tell better then others. The one I have heard the most is about how she didn’t graduate from school but went on to nursing school and became second on the board of SC nursing graduates. The story goes about the first test they took in college; Only two students passed, her and one other girl. The other students immediately accused her of lying about her previous education. Willie Mae mentions this every week if not ever day, it’s like she has this incredibly need for affirmation.
Over and over and over I tell God all the sins I’ve ever committed. I know God tries not to remember our sins anymore but somehow I think we make it hard for Him. Then I ask Him over and over and over, was I worth it? Need I ask…
So I remember past years, and I think about being 21. I think about not needing to be worthy and simply accepting the Gift of a High Calling.
Have a super week! Loves Sonya